How to Network (and Stay Sane)

Awkward glances. Tedious conversations. Overbearing know-it-alls. No, it’s not a first date (though it’s similar): it’s networking. Or at least, it’s what networking feels like to many of us. 

But no one can deny how valuable business networking is when it comes to finding a job. According to a study by the Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis, practicing good networking techniques, like tapping your circle of professional connections, can reduce your job search by up to 1-3 months, as well as help you garner a higher quality, more satisfactory job opportunity. 

The added bonus? Networking doesn’t have to be a drain. 

In fact, TripleTen’s Career Coach, Sharahn McClung, states there are multiple methods you can learn to make valuable connections in a healthy way. She believes no matter what stage of your networking journey you’re on, you can stay sane while landing your next role. 

Here’s what Sharahn has to say about the value of networking, as well as her top 3 tips about the best way to network as you go through your job search process.

Why networking is for everyone — even introverts

Sharahn’s years of coaching have brought her in contact with people of all types of backgrounds and personality types. However, one thing’s for certain: many of her students and colleagues note that networking is difficult, and that they were drawn to the solitude typically offered by coding-related jobs.

“Anything technology-related requires someone to be at a machine, and that very easily lends itself to someone being off by themselves,” Sharahn explains. “Sometimes it can be like a destination profession for people because that part of it is very attractive to them.”

However, she emphasizes everyone has something to gain from networking with professionals because it’s a “listening tour” that goes beyond small talk and exchanging your business card.

People always want to talk about themselves, so it's an opportunity to watch basically a documentary or biography right in front of you of someone else’s process. This takes a lot of the anxiety away because you’re learning about a process. And when you have to course-correct because an event’s not what you expected, for example, it’s not catastrophic because you still met people, learned something, and can take that back to your own process. Sharahn McClung, TripleTen’s Career Coach

Knowing whether you’re an extrovert or introvert — personality types driven by chemicals in your brain called dopamine and acetylcholine, respectively – can help you understand how to network with people effectively within your zone of comfort. For example, do you feel invigorated by being in a large group of people (the dopamine hit an extrovert needs)? Or do you need a safe space that makes you feel in control (you’re an introvert who responds to acetylcholine)?

“Know what your lane is and stay in it,” she explains. Some of the best ways to figure out your lane are drawing on your past experiences, understanding how you react to different circumstances, and even analyzing the words and labels you use or have heard associated with your experiences. 

“A lot of times when we talk about networking, people say, ‘Oh, I’m not comfortable networking because I’m bothering people,’” Sharahn explains. “Well, where did you get that language? Is that an external label that I got, and is it true?”

Top tips to start networking

Now that you know how to begin networking and make connections with people, how do you start doing this without stressing yourself out or straying outside of your lane? Sharahn has three pieces of advice: 

Focus on your goal 

It might seem obvious, but one of Sharahn’s top networking tips is to go in with the right goal, and it shouldn’t be to “get a job.” Instead, Sharahn says your goal should be “closing the distance between you and the decision-makers in your target role, your target company, and your target industry.”

“Getting an offer, getting an interview, having a conversation… these are all consequences of this goal,” Sharahn explains. “So I ask students to actually look at the goal of what they want to do because maybe the options for networking don’t actually fit that, or you can moderate how much of one method you’re doing in order to stay sane and grounded.”

So how do you focus on your goal? 

Do your homework

Next, you need to find the industry, space, company, or exact role you want to be in, and this means doing your homework. While not necessarily a “fun” task, really digging into your networking options that will bring you to the job you want can help you make deeper connections faster. 

“The goal here is to have a conversation with someone so they believe and see that you want this job and not just a job,” Sharahn states. She adds that doing your homework alleviates a lot of pressure and eliminates worries around the unknown.

Here’s how you start doing this homework:

Create (and stick to) your plan

Finally, you can stay sane while networking if you create a plan and stick to it. More often than not, this is where Sharahn believes most people get derailed, which ultimately causes stress and overwhelms them. 

“When you have a plan and you stick to it — and this goes back to neuroscience — you can celebrate,” she says. “Then that becomes a positive experience. Neurons that fire together wire together. So now you’ve knit positive, successful feelings into the activity of going into a networking event, which means the next time you do it, you’re leading with those feelings.”

The best way to create and follow a plan is to:

Ultimately, networking is about building mutually beneficial relationships that will help you not just land your next role, but could help you throughout your entire career path. 

“You never know who you’re going to meet now and how or when you’re going to be able to provide value for that person in their career or vice versa,” Sharahn says. “So it’s the investment in the relationship. I encourage everybody to focus on that.”

Level up your networking prowess

If you want to prepare yourself for better networking, you should grab our checklist for getting hired in tech. It covers many of the ideas Sharahn suggests for building relationships and making connections while staying sane, plus you’ll see how to get better at networking laid out in a visual way. Download the checklist here!